Rediscovering myself

Been a delightful day today. For many reasons that were justified and that came across as pleasant surprises for me. I had been working day and night for my Event Management company, managing the cast n crew of a Friend’s movie, travelling all around the city and simultaneously developing interesting content for Special Women’s Day transmission on our Radio Station. Today was the day to execute all of it and the anxiety was getting over my head for quite a few days. As soon as I got up in the morning, I talked to myself in the mirror, saying to myself, Kulsoom… Just nail it today. You have 4 hours to prove yourself. You know its like one of those entry tests of LUMS where you are stuck for the entire time and there is no way out. Do or Die! 

The moment I stepped in to the studios, I felt like a winner already. I yelled at myself having nobody around, telling myself to boost up, wake up, get this moment going and keep the pace alive for 4 freaking hours. I made a small prayer telling GOD, “aaj aap sab sambhal lena”. Trust me, the moment I started off till the moment I winded up, everyone around me was all smiles including me. :) Got the text message from my Production head in recognition to my efforts and research for the show. One of those few messages that I get in months. 

Rushed to Jinnah University for Women for conducting a small lecture on power and influence of Social Media. Accompanied by Muhammad Abdullah, Yeah the famous Karachi Tips Guy, listening to him and seeing his vibrant eye catching presentation made me a little conscious. Once again that prayer in my head, Bismillah karo, Rest is going to be taken care of by GOD. The moment I started talking, I re-discovered my self as a Public Speaker having such a good command over the things I was talking about. A whole bunch of 100 ladies were there. All eyes on me. And It was just like having a drawing room conversation with them. I impressed myself today honestly! :)

Coming back to station, getting all the compliments from our Marketing and Sales Department and then Barrister Shahida Jamil’s sweet words and warm hugs for me made my day complete and absolutely a splendid one. Came back home, all drained off , craving for ghar ka khana and then ammi said she made Shahi Tukras for me . :) 

I offered Maghrib prayers. Sat on the prayer mat for quite a bit. I had finished praying but I was just sitting there idle. Thoughtless, Clueless, Successless , Speechless. I had finished my day in such a proud manner but yet I was standing on the ground after all that I had done. Sitting like this made me cry. Not because of what I had achieved, but because of the time I couldn’t spend with my biggest support , biggest mentor, my Guru and above all my best friend, My Lord, ALLAH almighty. I felt pity on myself that I am just a mere human being having nothing in my hand, so helpless that I always seek HIS support to get me going in life. But evidently I fell in the feeling of peace after a long time, re discovering my self! :)

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