The other side

It is very difficult for someone to stay strong and calm at the same time. It gets worst when you have to hide so much inside you and wear a mask of happiness to please everyone around you. Your reactions aren’t timed and they erupt at the worst possible moments. You start losing control over your emotions and you cry in the corner of your room not knowing the reason of your sadness and misery. There is so much pain in you accumulating over time that you are unable to convey to anyone around you and all you do is destroy yourself. Neglect yourself. Hate and berate yourself for being unjust to the people you love and care about. You are so scared from inside that you fail to even express your love for your loved ones and hatred for people who have given you miserable time. You are just numb. Completely numb.

This story is mine. This may be yours too but hardly any of us bring about this side of ours when we are fighting a battle of our own inside us. Each one of us is a warrior in some or the other way. We have fears, regrets, grudges, anticipations, expectations and plenty of other stuff running in our blood pumping through our hearts and signalling our mind to make right and wrong decisions. We have to overcome our fears, fight our own fights, live our own life and once we are absolutely sure that our own impact is sustainable, we help others fight their battles. But first we need to fix ourselves.

Crying isn’t a sign of unhappiness. Sometimes all you need is a detox of overwhelming emotions inside you. I cry when someone praises me or appreciates me. I cry when I get hurt. I cry when I miss my dad. I cry when I see someone doing good deeds. We all have a different level of tear tolerance and I guess I come in the category of least tolerant ones. If you feel this is a serious problem and you are unable to fix it on your own, you MUST see a counselor and there is absolutely no harm in doing so. Improving your mental health is as important as seeing doctor when you feel something has hit your stomach and your digestive system won’t function properly.

Be grateful. Appreciate every single happiness that comes your way. Shukr always gives you more from divine. No matter what it is. Even if its a trouble you have come across. Even if GOD is limiting you from something. Even if its loss of a loved one. Even if its failure in Exam. Just say shukr to GOD for what everything else you have been blessed with as thats the only key to happiness and contentment in life. :)



4 thoughts on “The other side

  1. Annie says:

    Crying is never a sign of weakness. There is a reason why we were given this ability; to relieve ourselves from all that we keep within us.
    On mental health, we all have our problems to deal with and I agree that there is absolutely no harm in seeing a counsellor. Having said that, I know how strong you are K and never let anyone tell you other wise. I don’t even need to add anything further here because your post says it all. You are definitely on the right track, love.
    Your friends are right here to listen if ever required.

  2. Saima says:

    Dear kulsoom mjhy ap ki batay parh k aisa lagta hy jaisy ye meri story ho… i cant express my feelings but jb main ap k blogs parhti ho aisa lagta hy jaisa main sochti ho wo kisi ne likh dia ho… i m the same i have least tolerance to stop my tears.. i m v sensitive n my emotional level is v low… but main apny ap se roz larti ho k mjhy strong banna hy.. mjhy react nhi krna hy..
    Ap ki blogs parh k acha lagta hy wo batay jo dil ko cho lain… isi tarha likhti rahey ga… takecare

    • kulsoom says:

      Shukrya. Duaon main yad rakhyega. Just remember ke ham sab buhat strong hain. Allah ne aurat ko by default mazboot banaya hai. Sensitive hona achi baat hai. Is se zahir hota hai k hamara dil zinda hai. murda nahi.
      InshAllah likhti rahugi :)

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