Khalish…

Mai hasta basta aik parinda, 
Udta rehta beech hawa main, 
Subah ka sathi , shaam bita dee, 
Raat ko sota mai aghyara.
Dil tha bojhal ik din yunhi, 
Thak sa jata tha bechara.
Aik akela banjar ghar tha 
jis mai rehta tha main yaara.
Socha dhundu aisa sathi. 
Mil kar jis se ho yaarana.
Chahun usko mai jee bhar ke. 
Mera bhi ho aashiyana.
Dost mila, ghamkhwar mila,
chalte chalte yunhi ik din. 
Chehak utha mera har lamha,
Wohi bana phr mera saathi. 
Ghalti mujhse lekin hogayee ik din.
Maine usko qaid kia tha.
Maine uspe waar kia tha.
Darr tha usko mai kho dunga. 
Agli Subah jab ankh khuli. 
Ghar tha mera phir se khaali. 
Roya tha mai zaar o zaar
Samjha aakhir mai ne phir.
Wo bhi hasta basta tha.
Wo bhi aik parinda tha. 
jo urta rehta beech hawa mai.
Subha ka saathi, shaam bita di.

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What 2013 taught me…

So everyone has been posting the blissful moments of life and sorrowful events that have happened in 2013 that caught my attention and compelled me to highlight some important things about last year and a few plans leading towards prosperity and progress next year InshAllah.

Te year started off with me stepping into a new life. I got married, I shifted to a new place with new people and tried absorbing new environment that I have significantly gotten used to of but there is more to learn and explore. :) The bitter truth is that, nothing went as I was expecting it to be as some MQM worker got killed on my Nikah’s day so the entire city had to shut down and a very few closed friends and family could make it to my wedding. My wedding was a simple affair as far as anticipation is concerned but it taught me the most important lesson of my life that I will pass on to my kids. Kill the expectations that you ever have about anything in your life. Be it love, career, family, friends or even your pet animal. The universe is not designed to work as per your principles and expectations rather it will imply its rules on you to turn you into a different creature. What comes handy, will make you happy and what doesn’t show up, it wasn’t meant to be for you. Simple rules, simple life.

Most of my life started getting surrounded by new family, in-laws. The whole idea of visiting my home every 15 days and staying there for couple of days or sometimes 3 days and then bringing back many things my mother would give me considering I was a spoiled child and I didn’t know jack about home making ( I am still learning ) , was fascinating in the beginning but then after getting used to of this routine, I started feeling bad for maa and sisters that I can’t give them enough time. But then husband and in-laws were a priority too. So I learned to balance between both the families. Resolving issues, you know the usual roothna manana, compromising, silently remembering my parents and weeping , complaining about petty issues. It was all a part of me until I realized that this is eternity till I am alive! This is no project, no scholarship, no contract that I am bound to for so n so years. Its a life long commitment. ITS BIG!!!. Evidently I came over the home sickness and tried finding work. I was doing radio but I got a major breakthrough when I was offered TaazaDum by Apna Karachi FM 107. That was probably achievement of the year for me. :)

I traveled quite a bit in this year. So April was IYAC, Islamabad. Then june was Bangkok, Koh Samui and Pattaya. Best week long trip to Lahore in November-Dec. It was different this time as I was regularly in touch with my two families. It was something I had to do. One of those few things that was add-on to my life package. But that too made me a lot more responsible and a lot more sensitive about family in general. I tend to get outrageous about family now. Don’t know if that is a good thing or not. Travelling in general was fun. With partner it was whole lot different. Alone it was a different deal. The plan is to save and make family travel now InshAllah :)

Radio gave me exposure and a lot of opportunities. I started hosting Coke Studio show , did a road show, gave my voice to few announcements, even auditioned for the Turkish dramas. It was funny when the producer tried to take my voice sample and place it on a 16 year old happy go lucky girl. With embarrassment he told me that my voice was too mature and it would fit some 30+ lady if they ever found one in a Turkish play. Well he was kind enough to help me figure out lip sync but I just couldn’t get through. Ah well. Probably not exciting enough for me.

In terms of work, I landed some really amazing deals. I was team lead for #DIGIT13 this year which was Pakistan’s largest Digital media conference. I landed into Faysal Bank T-20 tournament Social media team too. Managed Facebook and twitter for a clothing brand and covered the launch live which was something one of its kind. Got invited by jubilee Life insurance to see Haaf playte. Participated in Lets Vote campaign. So yeah, bunch of stuff and much more to come :)

Lets see… Ah I cooked! this is the year when I have cooked the most. I tried many dishes and I was successful in quite a few experiments. Things I made include chicken Biryani, Gajar ka halwa, Bhuna hua gosht, Nihari, Karahi, Varieties of sabzi and daal, and chowmein. Also made my signature dessert called Chocolate mousse tart with roasted almonds. I am aiming to bake cakes and cup cakes now :)

A lot of people I trusted, had faith in, considered close friends and was counting on them to stay with me even after marriage, are not there anymore. They disappeared. And sometimes I don’t get the reason why did they do that. I kept rumbling about it and kept hurting myself for losing those friends. But then I realized that may be they weren’t meant to stay forever. May be they don’t want to intervene in my life now. May be they don’t want to listen to my rants as the stories don’t involve them anymore and there is nothing of their interest. But I am glad and I feel blessed for friends who stayed throughout the tough times of my life and they make sure they keep a check on me once in a while. It feels good. Family is family but there are people who you have shared moments with and you don’t want to let them go. I don’t either. :) Lesson learnt : Marriage might not change you much but it changes people around you.

I feel I need to start writing again. I wrote few blogs for Tego and it felt great. Don’t know why I couldn’t keep up with the pace. But 2014 – Writing every day some thing or the other is on my TO DO LIST.

I don’t think I have ever written such an insightful post about me ever on this blog but this is how I want to begin my new year. I want to re-build a strong connection with you all once again who have made me who I am today. You guys read my blogs, listen to me on radio and help me whenever I ask for it. So in totality I am nothing and I want to stay nothing for the rest of my life :)

May ALLAH bless all of you with sunshine and happiness in your lives and may you all get whatever you aim for in life and hereafter. Happy 2014.

Purposeless visit of the City

I know I should be hanged to death for not being the same old regular blogger that I used to be but something so unusual happened today that I couldn’t help myself from stopping by and sharing with you all.

Today I decided to just take a random tour of the city, hang out with friends I missed talking to and just spend some quality free time away from all work worries and worried people around. When I reached to meet couple of friends for lunch, found one of them really sad. Oh before that, I slipped on the entrance of the cafe but thankfully nothing harmed me lol. So yeah this friend who I consider a very strong head girl, was just too blown away and she needed to let it out and talk. Offered my services and listened to all the intricate details she had to share. I had to see a dear friend at the mall so took her out to mall with me while giving advices, got her chocolate, gave her a hug. Got her thank you text with a smile and felt so relieved ! Stopped by at another place to see my other old group of friends where I ended up seeing another sad face. So this friend texted me while we were sitting and talking and I made sure that I end up making him laugh before I leave. So we all played ONO and I read out the instructions of ONO in Urdu in the typical  advertisement style of Farzana Dawa Khana Dastagheer Number 9, Karachi :). That was fun! And I left after spending a good time.

When I reached home, I logged in to my gmail, finished up reading a very good blog that I have fallen in love with and then a chat window popped up of another friend who just wanted to talk about his life changing decision and his anxiety regarding that. Kept everything aside, listened to what he had to say. Gave a couple of advices and I guess they were quite sensible ones to start a healthy relationship :) Just was when I was about to sleep, I ended up checking my watsapp and boom! this friend whom I had met in the evening was really ticked off by a family concern and I could not help lending a shoulder to her to cry on and just sorting things out step by step. Hope it works out for her!

I was told earlier today that I am a great friend, I listen to all my friends and I try solving their problems. I don’t know to what extent but I was genuinely missing good emotional conversations with folks I care for. There was too much of talking and listening today. But I felt that you always need a sane person around you to take care of you no matter how strong you are. You fall. You feel fragile. You feel so shattered to just hold on to your tears for long and want to pour them out unlike ever before. I’m happy today that I was of some use to my friends. My purposeless visit turned gave me this blog post today and good listening. May be I should do it often.

Spreading love! As always!

Aik cup chai

I was sitting with my boss in his cabin , discussing a very interesting project that I have been working on these days. We were in the middle of the conversation talking about drafting the proposal and designing marketing strategy for the particular program that we were developing. You can imagine how serious such conversations are and the amount of concentration that you have to develop to keep track of the words of a talkative boss is just an extra effort that needs to be put for a better outcome. So we are talking and all of a sudden Bhatti Sahab walked in. Now Bhatti Sahab is the senior most peon in our office and this is the reason why everyone calls him either Bhatti Sahab or Bhatti bhai. So the conversation took a pause and my boss started talking to Bhatti Sahab. He said ‘Aray Wah, mai tou abhi chai ka hee soch raha tha aur aap le bhi aaye.’ Then he told me in front of him ‘Bhatti Sahab ki chai poore office mai sab se achi hotee hai’. Now I was like I know all these things and in the middle of such important conversation, why was it necessary to brag about him? When Bhatti sahab left, seeing my furious face, my boss told me that do you know why did I praise his chai in front of you? I said NO! Then he told me how important it is to praise and encourage employees at workplace in front of each other because they feel good about themselves and the level of loyalty and determination increases towards work.

Co-coincidentally, Bhatti Sahab forgot to bring my chai the next day. I didn’t bother much and forgot to even ask him why did he do so? Next day when he knocked at the studio’s door to indicate me that the chai is here, I went out to have it. He apologized for not bringing my tea as there was no milk in early morning at the office. I gave him a smile and assured that I had forgotten that I didn’t take tea that morning :) Also when he had a tray in his hand, I held the door for him to pass by and the pleasant gesture that we shared is unexplainable.

Its just a cup of tea that makes so much of a difference in opinions, gestures, values and most of all Respect for someone around you. Everything revolves around your cup of tea. Just that you have to take that first sip to feel the essence of all the things around you. From today, I wouldn’t say that this is not my cup of tea because I believe everything can be changed with every little sip you take. :)

(Photo courtesy, Saad Saeed)

Say no to angry birds!

Don’t get me wrong here.

All of us having android phones or iPhones or iPads or whatever gadgets, like to test at least one game on our possessions. The trendsetting game angry birds  can never be ignored for the fact that it has become an addiction for people from all walks of life. From kids to teens to college boys to young professionals to post 40 uncles and aunties to grandparents, all and sundry are glued to this beautifully technically crafted game.

Eventually this is not what I want to talk about. I happened to visit Pindi in March and one of the most toughest things in the city is to look for good food. We were referred Melody food street for that matter so decided to go there for lunch just once. There was this whole menu card, full of dishes offered by different restaurants. My eyes struck this particular page where I found THIS… ( See the photo )

 


Took out my camera, snapped and then had a 15 minute long discussion with my group on how Pindi people like to have peaceful food items so they can promote the message of peace and happiness in the entire country :)

I wonder how do the birds qualify for being considered as Sharif Chiray? Mmmmm May be they are the obedient birdies of their Mom, making no noise, breaking no rules, sleeping at 9 PM and waking up at 5 AM in the morning.. OR They complete their homework in time after coming back from School ( Foreign Exchange Chiray Program ?? ) OR they wash their tiny feet after eating and brush their beaks and tongues twice a day everyday. The teen chiray having no pink chiryan as their girlfriends or no late night skype sessions with school friends. Yes!! Sharif Chiray are awesome :D

I wish I could have had this dish so I could relate to “Sharif Chiray” in some manner , yet the sight of spotting something like this, made my day. I love playing angry birds on my phone as much as anyone else around, yet I support the cause of sharif chiray at Melody food street :). Say no to angry birds just when you are about to eat them, and try Sharif Chiray …

Enjoyed Reading? Do share the sharafat ;)

Rediscovering myself

Been a delightful day today. For many reasons that were justified and that came across as pleasant surprises for me. I had been working day and night for my Event Management company, managing the cast n crew of a Friend’s movie, travelling all around the city and simultaneously developing interesting content for Special Women’s Day transmission on our Radio Station. Today was the day to execute all of it and the anxiety was getting over my head for quite a few days. As soon as I got up in the morning, I talked to myself in the mirror, saying to myself, Kulsoom… Just nail it today. You have 4 hours to prove yourself. You know its like one of those entry tests of LUMS where you are stuck for the entire time and there is no way out. Do or Die! 

The moment I stepped in to the studios, I felt like a winner already. I yelled at myself having nobody around, telling myself to boost up, wake up, get this moment going and keep the pace alive for 4 freaking hours. I made a small prayer telling GOD, “aaj aap sab sambhal lena”. Trust me, the moment I started off till the moment I winded up, everyone around me was all smiles including me. :) Got the text message from my Production head in recognition to my efforts and research for the show. One of those few messages that I get in months. 

Rushed to Jinnah University for Women for conducting a small lecture on power and influence of Social Media. Accompanied by Muhammad Abdullah, Yeah the famous Karachi Tips Guy, listening to him and seeing his vibrant eye catching presentation made me a little conscious. Once again that prayer in my head, Bismillah karo, Rest is going to be taken care of by GOD. The moment I started talking, I re-discovered my self as a Public Speaker having such a good command over the things I was talking about. A whole bunch of 100 ladies were there. All eyes on me. And It was just like having a drawing room conversation with them. I impressed myself today honestly! :)

Coming back to station, getting all the compliments from our Marketing and Sales Department and then Barrister Shahida Jamil’s sweet words and warm hugs for me made my day complete and absolutely a splendid one. Came back home, all drained off , craving for ghar ka khana and then ammi said she made Shahi Tukras for me . :) 

I offered Maghrib prayers. Sat on the prayer mat for quite a bit. I had finished praying but I was just sitting there idle. Thoughtless, Clueless, Successless , Speechless. I had finished my day in such a proud manner but yet I was standing on the ground after all that I had done. Sitting like this made me cry. Not because of what I had achieved, but because of the time I couldn’t spend with my biggest support , biggest mentor, my Guru and above all my best friend, My Lord, ALLAH almighty. I felt pity on myself that I am just a mere human being having nothing in my hand, so helpless that I always seek HIS support to get me going in life. But evidently I fell in the feeling of peace after a long time, re discovering my self! :)

A letter to Arfa…

My Dear Arfa!

I wish I would have met you at least once so I could gather just that bit of inspiration from you that made you so connected with your homeland, Pakistan. Nevertheless, you left us at such a time when the nation needed to learn from you. Needed to learn the sincerity, passion, aspiration and the aim to dream high and striving to put it together. When you talk to GOD, let him know that you wanted to do so much for all your friends here but you didn’t get enough time. Don’t be harsh to HIM my dear because you know what? HE knows that your friends are going to make all your dreams come true. Arfa! you have made all the daughters realize that they can make their parents feel proud in front of everyone. You have made all brothers realize that sisters are the best friends they can have around who will always be there to help their bros out. You are special and special people have lots of things to achieve in this world and hereafter. May be you have a better task to do and that’s the reason why you left us. I am just saying this to hold my tears honey! I’ll rise up everyday thinking about your bright smile that you gave in all your interviews, all your pictures. And those shining eyes that had held enormous dreams in them, waiting to come true in a blink. Oh dear! the way you sang Anokha Ladla in one of your interviews, it just made me so proud of knowing you. I miss you!

Keep shining in the heavens! And yeah, spread all the love there now!

Love,

An Admirer.